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I live with my aunt due to some family issues. (If you count being thrown into foster care for 18 years of my life as being family issues)She takes care of me and all, but there seems to be no love in her actions. My cousins use me as some kind of slave, and when I tell them no, they get mad. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family. But do they love me? She yells, cusses and threatens to stab me on occasion. She barely gives me 100 bucks every 2 months and expects me to go to college so she can get my financial aide check. It's my money and when I complain about it, she goes into a rage and shuts me in my room. Now I'm staring at the stark white door, wondering what I did wrong. I cry myself to sleep most nights and they simply pass me by. Soon, I even stop crying. I clean most of the house, but can barely use the laptop. I barely eat, yet I gain weight due to my body thinking I'll be starving again soon. She babies her children, but I only see new clothes once a year...

So tell me, do you think they love me or tolerate me?

With what they're doing...I hate to say this...but they don't really love you.
It's like you're a burden to them. *huggles*

I probably see new clothes once every two or three years. The financial aid check is YOURS. Don't EVER let anyone take it away from you. Take it and get the hell out. Find yourself a good job. Do something for yourself and help yourself succeed. You can't wait around for things to get better. If you get the check while you're still living there, chances are your aunt will try to take it away. Trust me, a lump sum of money is better than $50 a month and your aunt knows it.

I always wonder if people hate me, but I'm paranoid like Tweek about social situations.

I hate to say it but some people use kids for the money.
Always keep in your head that you are a good person who deserves better, you WILL get through this. It will be hard but you have to be strong as well as you are beautiful!

its ok we will always have thoses people that will care 4 us in times wen they r bad, n i to have problems wit my family right now

I think I get new clothes once a year... maybe twice.... ._.

but I don't think they really love you, dear. If they make you do everything and bitch at you, then they tolerate you.
My mom says she loves me, yet she tried to kill me in her womb... in various ways.... =/
There's always going to be someone in your familly who doesn't love you, and people who do.

I agree with Ginger. If you're in college, you're old enough to get the hell out of there. I wouldn't put up with that FOR ANYTHING. I know from experience that family sucks. Don't stick around if you feel like you're being abused.

Yeah, I agree with pretty much everyone here. Get out, you deserve better. :(

Don't waste your tears on them anymore. They aren't worth it. Do you see them crying over you? Nope. Take what you can and just leave them without saying anything. You won't regret and you would be much better off. I did it and now I have lunches and breakfasts. I'm not starving every day in school or being a grouch all the time.

First off, get some food in your system, even if it means "stealing" it from your family. Second, apply for food stamps online. Third, find a job that's close to home. Fourth, find a cheap studio apartment after you've saved $700 for an emergency fund. And last, enjoy your freedom =)

You could also see about finding roommates. It's always nice to have backup with rent and bills.

Honey get the hell out of there O.O find a place where you can go.. ask a friend to put you up for a bit do anything but just get away from them.. trust me people like that are the scum of the earth and the last thing you need is to be near them..